please stop tickling me

In which we laugh and laugh and laugh. And love. And drink.

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Location: Portland, Oregon

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Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Links o' Lovin'

The Hill's Twitter Room is a strange concept that pays off big in laughs. The perceived need of pretty-much-by-definition old and out of it politicians to keep up with the young 'uns what with their Twitter and all...Leads to shit like this. For starters, I would love, love, love to be the staff member who has to sit there all day and make observations like:
"Jindal is weird. I can't believe Jindal. Such a sad contrast with President. Doesn't even look or sound good, to say nothing about content" -Rep. Earl Blumenauer (D-OR)

But, as Michael Richards would say; What do I know? I'm prejudiced! I think Twitter is retarded anyway, to say nothing of redundant, so thanks, The Hill, for providing a public service.

Arnold Safety Blog is another one of those industry-specific things that you think would be pretty straightforward. Generally, this one is.
"Eric Arnold is a Former Enforcement Agent with the Federal Motor Carrier Safety Administration, and a leading expert on USDOT compliance for small businesses," it says, at the bottom of the page. He also appears to be a member of the Outdoor Amusement Business Association, whatever that is.
His political opinions can't help but creep in there, too, and that's where it gets interesting. It's still a pretty dry read, but there's something that makes me snicker every time I read it. It almost feels like parody.

You Suck At Craigslist is always good for laughs. I recently submitted one, actually. Since they haven't ran it, I might as well:

Found this oddly worded mass of contradictions under "Talent Gigs":

I Need Some Help Just For Fun (Anywhere Portland)

Reply to: [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-03-30, 10:12PM PDT

I am shooting a video, with some special effects. I need some people to jump around on a trampoline doing flips and having fun, while I film from underneath. I have asked friends and yes they are willing to help...but when is that next sunny day coming and when is everybody available. What I am asking from you (the people interested) is can you get some friends together maybe someone has a trampoline aswell...because I know I don't. There are tons of trampolines out there I see them all the time. I am trying to get this video in my portfolio for the future music video's to soon be produced. Certain segments will be used in a later music video. Any age, but please not over 30. Thank you



Then he puts in his phone number. The example video is an example of what footage filmed from under a trampoline looks like, not an example of the artist's work. Dig the random philosophical musing halfway through ("when is that next sunny day coming..."), and the callous lack of regard for the basics of punctuation. And by the way, open to all, but no Olds. I think this may be a secret plea for friends. Or trampolines.

And through them, I also found It's Lovely! I'll Take It!, which is entirely devoted to pictures from real estate listings that never, ever should have seen the light of day. A favorite of mine appears to your right.

This is what one might see if one perchance were interested in a house in Oregon, where all things grow green and lush. So green, in fact, that you'd swear that it wasn't real.
Or, y'know, there's lots of entertainment industry professionals living here, so every house needs to come with its own green screen.

The Journal of Implied Statistics keeps on making with the science so you don't have to. It's comforting to know that things truly are more real now than ever before. Onward through the fog, science! Suus absentis probo infitialis!

People, it turns out, keep dying. And for this, there is a public service provided by Rear Admiral Dick Wheeler U.S.N. (Ret.) and his colleague/sister-in-law Mrs. Dr. Florna Boddington, Passages. They're so sorry for your loss.

Something odd is happening. The forgotten millenials are lashing-back. Generation A may very well have died for your sins. Please make a note of it.

And, I love Sexy People. So do you. So do all of us.

Today: moving day! Wish us luck, ev'ryboddah!


Blogger Salty Miss Jill said...

Good luck with the movin'!
SexyPeople. Oh my god. Whoever made that is going straight to hell. And so am I for laughing so hard I almost passed out. Bless you, Rich Bachelor for showing me the way.

4:37 PM  
Blogger disco boy said...

way fun stuff. so, how'd the move go? are you SUPER FUCKING TIRED now?

i would be.

7:12 PM  
Blogger Aunty Christ said...

The move SUCKED ASS. I hated it.

9:11 AM  
Blogger rich bachelor said...

Yeah, pretty terrible. Done now, though.

9:14 AM  
Blogger disco boy said...

coming up on a month now, everything good?

sorry the move sucked buttholes. that's gotta be a story in and of itself. talk soon!

3:21 PM  
Blogger Salty Miss Jill said...

Here's another one for you kids:

9:25 AM  

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