please stop tickling me

In which we laugh and laugh and laugh. And love. And drink.

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Location: Portland, Oregon

Otium cum Dignitatae

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Fun With Friday: Foreigner! Inspired by...Foreigner! (and Reege!)

"Hey guys, great idea! I got us these coats! No, no hear me out..."

"We have come here for two reasons: to stand in front of some panelling while wearing leather and fur, and chew some gum. And we're almost out of gum."

(The Voice of Purnell Roberts:) "Martika is forced to live in a bathroom, surrounded by menacing, English classic rock musicians. The Christian Groupie's Charity Fund is hoping you'll help. Martika doesn't know the heart that beats in you. Not yet."

"So...Whaddya think we should name our fourth album?"


And...AAAH! It was indeed Regis time, out at Spirit Mountain, last Saturday.
What, you may ask, does someone with Regis's skill set do, when on tour? Pretty much makes shitty jokes, sings songs that had whiskers when my grandparents were in their twenties. Pretty much, he'd like to be the next Bob Hope.

I don't quite see it, though. He's too much of an asshole, and his voice is really annoying. This doesn't prevent him from having what seems like a pretty devoted fan base, though.
Said fan base would buy anything, if I had to say for certain. It takes a certain amount of willful ignorance not to get creeped out by this guy singing "Calendar Girl" (with the unfortunate line, 'I wanna take you to the junior prom') to you. Also, that number was a sing along: he had dragged five women from the audience up on stage, and when this was done, he sang "Miss America" to them.

Good clean fun, I suppose, but also the kind of fun only a devoted Reader's Digest reader can appreciate. 'Humor', for instance, is represented by a tiny man with a shrill voice ("They cracked me open like a LOB-STAH!", he said, referring to recent heart surgery. This got huge laughs).
He'd like to be Dino, but he's not even Joey Bishop. I bet Norman Fell got better service from the cocktail waitresses, back in the good days. He's always had questionable amounts of talent, and I think might very well be famous for being famous. Not going away. Something.

The biggest laugh of the evening, by the way, went to a tiny lady wearing an enormous coat. Reege asks, "Why doncha take off your coat, stay a while?" Big laughs for a line that any first grade teacher knows, and she says, "I'm on blood thinners." The house came down.



Blogger Salty Miss Jill said...

Regis-the poor man's Joey Bishop.
How on earth did you suffer through this?

9:06 AM  
Blogger rich bachelor said...

Well, as I've mentioned before, pretty much the only time I smoke pot is when I work at the casino. It takes the evil sheen off of things, sort of.

10:50 AM  
Blogger disco boy said...

man, i HATE Foreigner. but you already knew that.

5:22 PM  

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