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Location: Portland, Oregon

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Monday, January 12, 2009

Best Spam Scam Ever

(I responded to an ad on Craigslist the other day. What the hell, right? It was a driving job...And that was all that was offered in the way of an explanation. I wrote an email asking for specifics: what/who would I be driving, what would the hours be, did I need my own vehicle, etc. I didn't send a resume, as I figure that being an ex-taxi-driver was more valuable to the position than being an itinerant stagehand. Here is what I got back.)

Hello Driver,

We are great to receive your resume in our database about the driving
work.We are hiring you for 2 months for promotion and we will be
paying you $780 Weekly.There is a promotion that will commence in all
Sephora Beauty Stores around the United State of America which will be
starting on 26th of January and will last till 27th of March.

(Hello, Emailer! I am great to receive your email!)

Job Requirement.
---- You must ensure you have a driver license.
---- You will be working for 3 days in a Week Mon, Tue,Wed from 10: AM till 5 PM
--- We need to know the kind of Car you available with you and if not
we will hire car for the event that you will drive.
-- You will be working for us in moving cosmetic products and other
promotional gifts from one Sephora Beauty Store to another as soon as
they are needed during your working hours.

(I see several requirement here In Fact. What car available with me not: Hire car. Ten: AM! Sort of sounds like the second installment of an action movie series called "Ten".)

--- You will be given a promotion uniform for driving during the promo.
--- You will also be given Sephora Beauty Store location where you
need to load cosmetics and deliver goods during promo time in your
city and we will ensure the promo location will be in your city.

(I will be given a pretty pink uniform and matching car. Also; store I've never heard of in my city! Promo time!)

You will be given a Certified Check for advance payment of first week
before the promo starts in other for you to gets ready for the work
because we will not like any sort of dissapointment.Kindly send me the
following Information for the issuing out of the Certified Check to
you by next week.

(Here we go. Assuming that 'Diane Polk' is not deposed Nigerian royalty, I still see the possibility of something wrong here. A Certified Check ain't nothin' t' fuck with, and I don't a hundred per cent see how giving me one prior to my actually doing any work could bounce back poorly on me...Except if it was drawing on an account with no money, and suddenly I was on the hook for $780. " other for you gets ready for the work" is fucking poetry, and "we will not like any sort of dissapointment" both takes me back to earlier spam I've read [in particular MRS. MARIFE CARREON DERONA and her "It will be highly unfeasible for you to try to run away"], and of course: she misspelled 'disappointment'.)

1. Full Name.....
2. Address.....
3. City.......
4. State......
5. Phone Cell/Home.....
6 Age........

(These are all nice things. I like a Full Name. Having an address...City good...Sex...I'm waiting for them to ask me for my bank account number. They don't, though.)

We will also be sending you the Sephora Beauty Store around you where
you will be driving and also you will picking up your uniform there at
that center by 23rd of January.

(This is getting better and better. They're sending me a store!)

You are highly welcome and enjoy the promotion.

Happy Sephora.

Best Wishes,
Staffing and Recruiting Dept,
Regional Manager Mr.Petra Johnson.

(They're right. I am highly welcome. Wait a minute: 'promotion'? Do I already work for this company, and I just forgot? Yeah, happy...Sephora to you too, pal...Diane- wait a minute- Petra, I mean, and Petra who happens to be a man, which I haven't encountered before. Accompanying all of this was a Seattle phone number. I want to call just to find out exactly what scam this is, but I'm not sure.

(Looking at Craigslist again, I note that the original ad has disappeared. Fascinating.)

Well, Happy Sephora to you and yours in Holiday Type Season in Your Town/Area!



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