please stop tickling me

In which we laugh and laugh and laugh. And love. And drink.

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Location: Portland, Oregon

Otium cum Dignitatae

Monday, February 13, 2006

Not a Republic

I had to get something notarized today. I've never had to do that before. Wonderfully, it would seem that every bank has at least one Notary Public, and mine's no exception.
See, shortly after getting my last check, I lost the damn thing somewheres in the confines of my apartment, which is big but not that big.
So the process the folks at the office would like one to follow in this case is to fill out a form testifying that I (me) will, if I ever find my check (original document), not cash it, and indeed, will tear it up. This form must then be notarized.
The lady who was notarizing (the other bank, closer to the office, wouldn't do it even for money) at my bank looked surprised when she saw the money order accompanying said form. "They charge you money to replace your check?"
"Yup. Nice of 'em, in'it?"
But then, Notarizing is one of those things I've considered getting into, lately. It's something to do for a living, and especially in the niche market I call home: "R.B. Fortuneseeker: Scenester Notary!"
Plus, I'm sorta sick of this continually-stumbling-into-the-next-job thing. My current one isn't steady enough to pay 'dem bills really, and the aforementioned 911 gig strikes me as maybe not paying as much as...

The Postal Service! Sheeit, they start you at eighteen cash dollahs per yer hour. All I gotta do now is take some tests. And give them money for 'study materials', which I already did (assuming that phone number I called wasn't some total scam).

There is the whole meat counter option too, tho'. I've considered butchery as a trade before (though the preferred term in the industry is 'meat dressing'), but the last guy I interviewed with failed to hire me despite two of his employees having been in car accidents the week previous, and still home from work...I can only wonder what the hell I did.
Whatcha do is: go get a job in the meat department of a store that mostly sells healthy (or at least that's what they tell you) foods. None of the employees want to get stuck back there: it's a hardship post for them-they tend toward vegetarianism.
Whereas for me, the hardship post would be the cruelty-free cosmetics aisle.
I've always thought that along with making me some hard-earned, learning butchery would only help me with my own cooking. I dunno, though.
Frankly, I just hope the P.O. feels like employing me.

The rest of the time lately has been spent writing up a storm, taking lots of pictures, filming a small video at my favorite bar (a love/farewell letter, it felt like), and making devious plans concerning podcasting with the infamous Bobby Massage, details to come.
Matter of fact, actual post about something actual to come. I'm tryin' t' git back in the saddle, here.



Blogger disco boy said...

i know this is a long shot but...

here's what i would love to see you do: politics. the world has never needed you more. and yes, a civil service job is, essentially, government bid'ness, but you are a mind that could really change someshit for the positive in a capacity that i fear would be criminally undervalued in a letter carrier or 911 operator position.

that is, of course, unless you viewed those sort of positions as transitory.

that being said, i remember a number of years ago in which you basically acknowledged the bachelor legacy as kingmaker, and voiced a sentiment that speculated that as the damned intee-lectual that pulled the strings (strings the bachelor empire had access to), you could direct a prettyboy (or girl) into the right direction to rise to power. i look at that fat fuck rove, and think "that shmuck's taking the low road", when a smartypants like yourself could direct said puppet along the high road with a sharp stick to great success.

not to sound like a parent, but i'll support any and all things that you do. i would never, ever second guess you... not only do you know what you're doing, but you got the right stuff to do what and when ever. but that said, i loved the idea of you directing political traffic here in the pacific northwest. any more thought to that, or has the whole state of affairs left a sour taste in your mouth?

11:37 PM  
Blogger cats dig me said... know, I've been considering a run at Clatsop County commisioner. A puppet master is just what I need. That and a carton of shermans.

10:27 AM  
Blogger rich bachelor said...

The cigs are comin', Mister. I'm just loath to buy any, as I don't know what I'll do. It's been easy to not smoke the Parlies that my lady does, but Natties? Well, that's a whole seperate shed-full of barrels.
As to you DB: I remain the political junkie that I always was, but I deep down believe what Pete Miser had to say to me on the subject a couple years back; "You don't have the stomach for it".
Also: I don't know where I'd begin. The name is only sort of enough to open doors, and even so, I'd still be an amateur. Out on the coast where CAts lives, the name would actually be a liability.
I tried contacting Scott Ballo, who you may recall from highschool, and has been doing the political thing for a living ever since. He didn't have a lot to say.
I wanna study at the guy's feet, and find out how you really do it. I have a great deal of Theory, and almost no real life political experience. I'm mean and nasty enough, too, but without lots of money that means nothing.
Naw, I decided a while ago that I'm probably gonna do my usual of working some job to keep a roof over my head, and affecting the world type activities will probably be relegated to media warfare and culture jamming.
There's too many thoughts here...

11:31 AM  
Blogger disco boy said...

and i say this with love and humor...

but you're willing to try "meat dressing" or 911 call center operation, but you don't think you have the "stomach" for politics?

didja see the miser on mtv2 recently? he was in some sort of mt. dew sponsered new act competition thing, it gave him loads of coverage. his new cd is pretty damn good, though i don't listen to it that often. he still looks like he's 19, so he's certainly got that going for him.

well, if anything, i think you'd look good in the denimish colors of a letter carrier, and it's good to be out in the elements. i really like the guy who delivers the post at the store i work at, and he seems to like his job.

yeah, there are too many thoughts here. i'm a coupla days out from an interview with an industrial insurance company to do "business analysis" (i.t. work). i've had it up to here being the local dance music jackass. though make no mistake, i gots no love for the insurance industry. that shit can dry up and blow away any day, and i wouldn't shed a drop.

7:05 PM  
Blogger carrier said...

Oh sure, being out in the elements is a real blast.

By the way, I'm fairly confident there is no high road in politics. At least not if you want to be a successful politician.

If making a difference in the world is your desire, then writing should be your weapon of choice. It really is what you do best and it would be a shame to waste that talent.

Now if you only had a platform...

7:45 PM  
Blogger George said...

NIce Batchelor shot. Been catching up on your cybertronic doings of late, the stuff about Steven Stroud was kinda chilling, have you seen him again? LOVED the blastulation of Ronnie "Devo Hair" Ray-gun. I was reminded of the ratio of inverse refutation, the more manifestly inaccurate, insane and delusional the assertion the harder it can be to refute. Very hard to reconstruct some other poor bastard's fantasy universe.

Also, liked seeing St. Kennedy called a war mongering cowboy and you're noting that the Russians have always been 'bellicose idiots.'

5:25 AM  
Blogger George said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5:42 AM  
Blogger George said...

BTW, who is disco boy, is that Mr. C.B. From Seattle? If so, hey there, how do?

And as for Pol'tics, I happen to be doing and intensive study of the ur-neocon Leo Strauss this semester, and while he himself is not, (with many qualifiications and the proviso that I may change my mind) evil. I *do* fear that the problem is far deeper than I had suspected.

Just look at what is going on with the Danish cartoons and bullet headed Allah-fundies. That is almost too surreal for me wrap my head around, though I know the arithmatic well enough.

BTW, didja hear that In Iran apparently Danish pastry is very popular, so yer standard Danish has been renamed "The Roses of Allah* Why not, *Jihad Biscuit*? or as a response to the whole *freedom fries* thing, how about "theocracy cakes."

5:45 AM  
Blogger carrier said...

Hey Rich, I hadn't noticed this until KEVron pointed it out, but clatsop spelled backward is postal c...or postal carrier.

What a goof I am. Why didn't you catch that?

12:02 AM  
Blogger rich bachelor said...

have you been "hanging out" with that bad Kevin boy down the street? Surely you know that gramma Maness hates him.r

12:10 AM  
Blogger carrier said...

Bad boys have to stick together.

And if Mark 'Madness' despises KEVron then so much the better.

9:46 AM  
Blogger carrier said...

One more thing. Living out here in the sticks I am sometimes confused by the cosmopolitans dwelling in cities having more than one zip code.

So give me your opinion please. Are Kevron and Kevronius the same hipster cat contained in one vessel or do you think they are in fact two seperate bags of meat?

I don't know if I should be amused or confused.

12:06 PM  
Blogger rich bachelor said...

Curious. I hadn't considered the possibility that they weren't the same person. Dunno.

6:45 PM  
Blogger rich bachelor said...

Ah. Just saw what you were talking about. Check my new post.

7:51 PM  

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