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Location: Portland, Oregon

Otium cum Dignitatae

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Everybody loves an Anachronism

"I dearly wish I had more articulate insights to offer. My thoughts, I am sure, will be greatly eclipsed by the remembrances of so many other bloggers who were Reagan Republicans from the outset."- Mark Maness, American blogger, circa yesterday.
Well, I wish you had some articulate insights to offer too, Mark. But you don't.
Like most of your postings, one could easily remove most of the words and insert "waah waah" and not change a damn bit of the informational content.
The posting I'm not bothering making a hyperlink for (the Liberal Media! What did I tell you?) was celebrating the career of one Ronald Wilson Reagan, known for some reason in his radio days as 'Dutch', a strange apellation for an Irishman.
The posting was in response to this genuinely deranged guy named Mike (who hosts a darkly hilarious little freak fest named 'Mike's America' in blogland). Mike is seeking the warm thoughts and recollections of good Americans concerning the years of the Mistah Raygun there.
Okay, quick one. The President has just been shot, and I'm in fourth grade in eastern Oregon. The lesson has been interrupted by the radio being broadcast over the school's P.A. system.
Perhaps they are seeking to have some sick atavistic moment remembered: most of the administration there has childhood or at least early-twenties memories of JFK going down in Dealy Plaza. Perhaps they want us all to remember "where we were when Dutch got his" or some shit. What they got instead was an overwhelming cheer.
My teacher actually went so far as to yell, "YOU'RE ALL HORRIBLE PEOPLE!" over the din, but the damage was done. And besides, maybe he was some sort of fool who immediately loves and respects authority (something I'm told that we all did around here before Nixon, or after Clinton, or something...), but Reagan's policies never did a damn thing for the farmers of Oregon, and it was reflected in the lust, of its children, for that senile old fucker's blood.
Oh hell, let's take it a little farther, yes? They weren't even his policies anyway, really, were they? No, he was just the happy, smiling, idiotic face that whoever was running the show at the moment decided to put on it. I don't think the man ever had an idea of his own.
He'd been making the same damn speech for years, for Westinghouse, originally, about the evils of Communism, which never had any chance whatsoever of making any dent in this nation, and those who say so are hucksters of the silliest sort. When a few of his fellow rich Southern Californians noticed that his speech never seemed to get old among the rich and paranoid, they decided to edit it more along the lines of The Evils of Big Government, and suddenly this professional liar had a second career.
On the few occasions that the Great Man To Be was allowed to wander off script, he (as Governor of California now, for some reason) said, "If they want a bloodbath, they'll get a bloodbath." The people he was referring to were peace marchers opposed to Vietnam, who I suspect weren't necessarily bloodbath-centered.
Ah, but I've read many an account from the MSM (that's Mainstream Media to you lucky souls who don't normally read right-wing blogs), and I've seen what these 'peace' protestors do! They riot, and they clog up traffic real bad! And when the whole thing with the tear-gassing is over, the media dutifully reports that a 'peaceful protest turned violent', always suggesting that it was elements of the movement of people-excercising their legal right-and not the police, who pretty much have the guns and the means to start the violence, and always do.
Mistah Dutch was very good at removing the whole Nixon stigma of even-Republicans-wouldn't-drink-with-this-guy. "There you go again," was this genius's greatest contribution to political science (and whaddya wanna bet that Peggy Noonan wrote that one, too?). Quite so, sir! How dare people ask questions of one so unimpeachibly...Nice Seeming as yourself? He just put people so nicely at ease that well...All they could do was make fun of how old he was, junior league, and find legal reasons why most of his cabinet needed to be removed from office, major league. We had a cute and cuddly grampa presiding over the genocide in Nicaragua, El Salvador....Oh, I must not be a spoilsport, I know. This will make me a Not Reagan, since I'm talking about actual things, and not some silly image only swallowed by the least-thoughtful. See? Not fun, and so not something we may think of!
He loved Jelly Bellies! He loved 'em so much! He loved those little...Uh, why should you fucking care? I dunno, but it was considered news during that period. Be a good American. Rename an airport.
And those who can't think so good give his ass credit for the fall of the Iron Curtain, or some such shit, swallowed by the least-thoughtful. Okay, without getting too far into it (a necessity, post-Reagan)...They destroyed their economy trying to keep up with our insane military proliferation, which we entered into based on inaccurate intelligence from ex-S.S. intelligence officers and various U.S. Senators who understood that we'd never be able to keep our economic good times going post W.W. II if we didn't have anything to be scared about, i.e. something new to potentially go to war with.
These wise fellows understood the conventional wisdom that war makes economies sound. On a short term basis, was the part they didn't notice, but god bless 'em, right? Anywho, the Russians, always a bunch of bellicose idiots themselves, took all our silly fucking saber-rattling pretty seriously, and ran their asses into the ditch trying to keep up with us.
These days, their nation is a fascinating and warm-hearted experiment in what happens when a large country with pourous borders is run by a lethal combination of organized crime and the remains of the secret police. Yeah? Well, at least they ain't Commies, right?
Okay, Dutch said "Tear down this wall..." Nope. Not even there. That wall wouldn't have even been there had Kennedy not been such a war-mongering piece of shit who made it clear to the Soviet of his day that he'd be glad to go to war over what remained of Germany. Cheap grandstanding. Typical. No wonder children like Mark and Mike love it. It's just like the movies.
Nope. Nothing to say about the guy, except that his handlers who were really running the show were far more evil. Mind you, if there really was a god like most of these crybabies think there is, that wouldn't be a good enough excuse. Hell, we even noticed it at Eichmann's trial in Jerusalem: 'I was just following orders' may sound nice to you, but in the eyes of the world, and the eyes of this fictional god-thing the rest of you seem to like so much, It Is What It Is, that is to say, A Mewling, Whining, Inexcusable Lie.
Punishable by Death. And, the cute old lying fuck-ass smily murderer is dead, after many years entirely unclear on where he was at all. His fate is the same as any human's, and in fact, compared to many of them, he got off easy.
And now the American Chief Executive is not to be questioned, especially concerning War. I don't blame that on Reagan, but on Johnson (who was also surrounded by people who lied to him). Who do I blame? Oh, those nice people who live down the street who think that it is a far better thing to be sheep led to the slaughter than it is to ask a simple fucking question, every now and again. They've made a religion of it, casting doubt yet again upon that whole concept.



Blogger KOM said...

It would be the height of un-patriotic sentiment to question anything, except perhaps whether Clinton was a liar, or a liar and a bastard.

And I'm pretty sure that we're still allowed to have opinions about television - as long as it's not about PBS.

But I remember most the kindly old man who, indirectly, designated ketchup as a vegetable - much to the delight of hungry school children everywhere.

11:46 AM  
Blogger disco boy said...

maybe it was my age, or my neighborhood, or my parents, but i remember ol' ronnie rerun as nothing short of the scariest person to ever run a country. of course, that was long before our current situation, but i certainly remember fearing one of two scenerios: either he has no idea what he's doing or he knows exactly what he's doing.

and yes, like you, we cheered when he caught a bad one.

but those were different times, simpler times when a dangerous man stood a good chance of being cut down. i have to word this carefully, but understand the sentiment: even though assassin's bullets flew through way, way more people i believed in than otherwise, i pine for those days... and i'm not sure that we've ever had anyone more dangerous in power.

12:27 PM  
Blogger rich bachelor said...

Quite so, Disco. Now really, who are you? Do I already know you, and just can't put it together from context?

8:01 PM  
Blogger cats dig me said...

I used to think that governor dutch was the most evil thing to ever land on our planet, so much so that I ended up thinking Bush the First wasn't such a bad guy. Ah the naivete of youth.

But look around at the signs, Rich. All that circling around the drain I predicted for the GOP is already happening. We haven't reached that darkest pit of despair just before the dawn yet but its looming up there. The spring of the 21st century officially starts in 2012. The first tumultuous buds are on the trees.

8:47 AM  
Blogger cats dig me said...

Oh, and wasn't Ronnie such a pleasant man? He made me feel sooo comfortable. Maybe we should name something after him, but what? Hey, Warrenton is putting in a new sewer system. Its unneeded, unwanted, unnecessary, will only benefit the giant corporation Home Depot, and will make us all feel a little better when we take a shit. Perfect! The Grand Ronald Reagan Shit System.

8:52 AM  
Blogger Jacq said...

I can't believe I'm starting to think that Bush the first wasn't that bad.

And then there's Bush #2. Like going #2. Goes together well, doesn't it?

12:52 PM  
Blogger rich bachelor said...

2012, huh? The end of History, you mean? As presaged by the Mayan calendar?
I dunno. I want to think good thoughts as much as anyone does, but I also know that poetic justice is a mean old bitch, and none of us get off easy.
Like it or duck it, my fate and destiny are intertwined with who ever we currently, jokingly refer to as 'the president'. I wish it weren't so.

1:30 PM  
Blogger cats dig me said...


In the spirit of bein' a U-niter and not a D-vider, I propose that after my city names its sewer system after R.R. that you suggest to your city that they name their sewer after Bush II. We'll have the first international politically conservatve sewer cartel. we can maybe name it: the Dutch Canadian All America Cross Country Shit System (DCAACCSS) :)

1:35 PM  
Blogger cats dig me said...

Oh, those wacky Mayans. Always predicting something aren't they? Well I mean weren't they. Yep, I believe 2012 was about it for the end of the world according to the Mayan calendar, but that can be interpreted many ways. Maybe it means the end of our backwards, puritanical, hypocritical, society and the beginning of something better. I will hold out hope, at least until that Mayan comet crashes into the mouth of the Columbia.

1:43 PM  
Blogger disco boy said...

we do know each other, and since i'm having rough time finding a way to email you directly, i'll just say that i'm tall, skinny and dark haired. we met in high school. and up until the recent holidays, we hadn't seen each other in quite a while.

this is worth mentioning: the "word verification" space for this comment is "gwsob". damn librul blogmedia!

4:58 PM  
Blogger rich bachelor said...

And you currently live in Seattle. I thought that might be you, O former Canal Dweller.
Uh, isn't my email address up there in the 'About Me' kinda shit? I thought it was.
Your blog is-well, hey everybody: go read Disco Boy's blog, "My Chuck Taylor's Weigh a Ton". It's hee-larious.

6:05 PM  
Blogger Erudite Redneck said...

The Reagan Regency. pbth.

Thankd for comin' by and droppin' a line.

8:17 PM  
Blogger disco boy said...

thanks so much, rich, bloggin' ain't nothin' like i wish it was, but these things start out so slowly, require introductions, and for those of us out of the practice of writing, it feels so awkward in the early stages.

really though, it just feels really good to be around you again, even if it is in this sort of technocommunique.

1:55 AM  
Blogger Jacq said...

Hey Catz...

I'll pass that along. See how well it goes.

6:51 AM  

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