please stop tickling me

In which we laugh and laugh and laugh. And love. And drink.

My Photo
Location: Portland, Oregon

Otium cum Dignitatae

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

This is not a Post

I said something sort of strange on Jacq's blog yesterday: "There is no such thing as love, and it is the most important thing in the world."
Do I really think that? Yup. I maintain that this whole love enterprise is really just us as humans idealizing and romanticizing our biological drives. Has it run my life (often into the ditch) for most of it? You betcha.
It's hardly the only thing in the world that gains strength from the sheer amount of belief in it. Like George Santayana said, "There is no God, and Mary is his mother." Kinda like that Sufi poet I quoted who said, "There is no God, and Mohammed is his messenger." They keep on making the same joke: that's at least part of the problem.
As I said before, the poet met his end via a blade held by a staunch believer in Islam, and Santayana ended his days as a guest of the Blue Nuns, the only man living in their convent. I've always thought that Sufism predates Islam, and they became a branch of it largely to prevent themselves from getting killed.
Or how about this: the question 'What is the meaning of life?' It's always struck me as one of the least important questions of them all, and the answer to it is-"I have no idea, but you're living it right now." What is the nature of the Buddha? "FIVE POUNDS OF FLAX!" is the answer, followed up by a sharp rap on the head.
Serves ya' right, acolyte.
In any case, despite the fact that I have a sharp deterministic view of what this love stuff really is, that has never prevented me from feeling tons of it. In any case, it just needed a name. It has been said that the idea of romantic love was invented as recently as the Troubadours anyway. Before that-what? Well, there's plenty of love poetry that predates those guys, but to hear some historians tell it, humanity was wandering around pairing off for life without a hell of a lot of questions as to why they might want to do that.
Maybe the way I shoulda put it is: "Love fucks up lives left and right. People die for it, kill for it, start wars over it, lie for it, make awful choices because of it...And you got anything better?"
Not me. The best art is made because of it. Communities that don't have it tend to fail. Children born into unions where there is no love tend to Not Thrive (in the metaphorical and medical sense). The sense of aspiring-up, up, up-toward the more perfect thing, something better at least: that's in there, too.
It's why there's religion, too, and I know that. I just keep on being offered bad incentives to be religious. More like threats, really. At least with love, I know where I stand: delusional, but with a nice warm feeling.



Blogger Jacq said...

I took it to mean that people don't know what love is. I didn't have the impression that you yourself didn't think it existed. Another person's interpretation of love may be different from what your own interpretation is. I've had men in the past say it to me, and follow it with no action at all. My current boyfriend never says it, but I know he does because of his actions. He always takes my feelings into consideration, he always puts me first, he always does things when I ask, even I don't realize I'm asking him to do something; it may just be a thought. The next thing I know, BAM!, he does it. Love is all around, but many people don't have a CLUE what it is or what it means. Some people say the words to be self-serving in whatever their agenda is.

Just like the song by Foreigner, "I Wanna Know What Love Is". Yea. I want you to show me. SHOW me, dammit! SHOW ME. Don't give me your stupid, *&^(ing words. Uh huh

6:58 AM  
Blogger Jacq said...

And people very often confuse LUST with LOVE. Not me. Not anymore. There'd better be a few other things attached to it, like, fidelity, loyalty, dedication, compromise. That's when you know. Along with the admiration and actions of the other person.

Just stay in HOT, STICKY LOVE. And make sure it isn't lust...

7:03 AM  
Blogger rich bachelor said...

It ain't (only) lust, Jacq. It's got that aspect of strange familiarity going (only way I can think of to describe it) that says love to me.

7:06 PM  
Blogger Jacq said...

Or kinda the feeling of being "comfortable." You KNOW how I feel about getting TOO comfortable! I did that once. It bit me in the ass, chewed me up, and spit me back out.

10:28 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home