please stop tickling me

In which we laugh and laugh and laugh. And love. And drink.

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Location: Portland, Oregon

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Sunday, July 10, 2005


The ten o' clock news is on now. Local news is always a joke, especially when it's the Fox affiliate, but they're all pretty awful. However, the little stings they pull (while almost certainly illegal) can be amusing.
Tonight, they seem to have taken the politically questionable move of burning this developmentally disabled guy who was trying to solicit underage girls on line. He's a four time Special Olympics champ, too.
Having lived with a few too many social workers in my time, I must say that the motivation for going into that line of work has never struck me as entirely altruistic. At least one of my housemates I can honestly say seemed to find her clients cute, the way the rest of us might view a puppy. Rest of the time, it's a job, and it pays better than working at a mini mart. It appeals to people with control issues, too. In any case, the reason why we idealize the developmentally disabled has less to do with any true fellow-feeling, as far as I can tell, and a lot more to do with this awful need to cute-ify everything, learned from movies, I'd wager. I'm suspecting that they're just like anyone else, aside from some absence of certain functions, and are just as likely to be awful in all the ways everyone else is.
So they lure this guy to the front door of this twelve year old, and then film him running away when he notices the cameras. This is where the fun begins.
Hm. Excuse me. On the way to the big teaser of the evening news, it would seem that there were two crashes at air shows (in Delaware and Saskatchewan), it's flooding badly in China, and Dennis the Storm is whipping the hell out of the Gulf Coast. Themes. Christian video games, developed in response to the extreme violence of the normal ones, are here. Hm. They look pretty violent, too. This is news? But back to the pervert tard.
Hmmm. Now there seems to be some group called Take Back The Memorial that is protesting the inclusion of actual New York institutions in the memorial at Ground Zero. Maybe they need to remember that the people who died that day were from New York. I know that they, like Jesus, have greater political uses whilst dead, but this is still the Big City here, source of all evil to hear some tell it, and got its just desserts on that day from God, for all its liberalisms and diversity, to hear Loving Man of God Pat Robertson tell it. Nice one, folks. You're making yourselves look like real pros on this one.
I had it pointed out to me on the comments aspect of this blog, earlier this evening, that I sounded to the respondant like a spoiled child that hadn't gotten his way. Perhaps, if what it was that I wanted was adults to have reasoning skills and the ability to express themselves in some way that could be described as thoughtful. Mind you, I stopped hoping for that one years ago, but that doesn't mean that it won't still astound me.
Let's see (still watchin' the news here): apparently there's lots of illegal aliens. In a largely agricultural economy like my home state is, we spend harvest time looking the other way, then spend the rest of the year acting like we never wanted all these Mexicans, and have no idea how they got here. It'd be interesting to see what would happen if we really honestly sealed the border, and couldn't harvest without them. Then the ag combines would have to pay a living wage. Imagine. The weekend Hollywood totals follow.
Okay. The group who did the sting was called 'Perverted Justice', for starters. The sting-ee calls himself The King of Lovemaking. He is blaming the straw victim: "If they're gonna talk that way? What man wouldn't?" It would seem the fellah has procreated, too. The Tulsa Kid says to me yesterday that he thinks that all males should receive reversible vasectomies at birth. Then, later, after really really thinking about it, if they wanted to have kids, they can pay the money to get it reversed and do so. I've heard worse ideas.
His current fiancee is named 'Maral Lien'. Does that sort of sound like an acronym? Or a pseudonym? The stingee is noting that he can say anything he wants online (true), as long as he doesn't act on it (which he did, and was only prevented from doing so by the presence of a camera crew). He then blamed the roughness of the neighborhood for his panic, causing him to run upon seeing cameras.
Looks like they're going to do this tomorrow night, too. The stingee in that one says, perhaps out of context, "If the Nazis had won the war, I wouldn't be addicted to the Internet."
Amen, ya' schmuck.



Blogger Erudite Redneck said...

Ya know, the open border with Mesko makes me crazy. But turn about's fair play. Now I know how the Cherokees felt in about 1760, the Sioux felt in about 1868, the ... well, you get it.

1:07 PM  

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